velcro baby

Day 6

06:00

08:50

10:20

14:30

16:10

18:20

21:30

22:00

22:40

00:05

01:30

01:40

Day 7

04:00

05:00

06:10

08:15

10:00

11:10

13;10

15:35

16:45

19:00

21:30

22:10

00:30

01:40

02:00

02:35

03:00

itu tadi cukilan catatan tiap ilyan minum asi di minggu-minggu pertamanya ilyan.. hampir tiap jam ilyan minta asi dan catatan itu lengkap loh selama 5 bulan pertama (buku notes power puff girls nya mama simpen kok di storybox-nya ilyan..) alhamdulillaah mama bisa kasih ilyan asi eksklusif selama sekitar 5 bulanan.. setelah 6 bulan, ilyan mama kasih MPASI.

Ilyan nih kayaknya termasuk ‘velcro baby’, ilyan selalu digendong setiap kali ilyan nangis, kadang gantian juga sama papa, setelah digendong, pertama mama langsung kasih asi, kalo udah dikasih asi ilyan masih nangis, mama coba eyong eyong ilyan sambil nyanyi lagu “dear ilyan” ciptaan mama :), kalau masih nangis juga mama gendong ilyan sambil jalan-jalan disekitar rumah.. nights and days...

banyak yang komentar sama mama waktu mereka denger cerita mama tentang kebiasaan kita itu :

“walaahhh... ini mah udah ‘bau tangan’ atuuuh.... gawaaat “

“ awas lho nanti jadi kebiasaan sampe gede!! “

“ coba dicuekin aja kalo pas malem2x nangis kayak gw, sejak anak gw umur 2 minggu, kalau nangis malem hari ga pernah gw gendong.. dicuekin ajaa.. lampu tetep mati.. emang kerasa berat juga sih utk beberapa hari, tapi lama lama juga dia akhirnya ga pernah nangis lagi malem2x! cobain deh!”

etc .. etc.. bla bla bla..

well, makasih buat komen2xnya tapi hiks maaf yaahh... mama ngak bisa tuh diem n cuek aja kalo ilyan nangis malem / dini hari, pernah sih sempet satu malam mama nyobain nyuekin ilyan waktu ilyan nangis jam 2 pagi .. semenit.... dua meniiiit... wwaaahh... ga nyampe dua menit setengah mama udah lari ke box ilyan dan ilyan langsung mama angkat, n mama minta maaf ama ilyan... (hiks.. sedih ) dah gitu mama gendong, kasih asi, eyong2x nyanyi lagu kita, dan .. alhamdulillaaahh ilyan langsung tenang... n mama happy.

Dulu mama masih ga tau apa yang mama lakuin ini bener apa nggak .. ada perasaan takut ilyan jadi manja, penasaran efeknya gimana buat ilyan.. tapi sekarang mama bersyukur banget kalo mama dulu lebih banyak menggendong ilyan saat ilyan nangis..... alhamdulillaaahhh.....

and thanks to dr. Sears and Pinky McKay too!

Velcro Baby

By Pinky McKay
Former Nurse, Parenting Editor, Author, Infant Massage Instructor & Mum

Clingy, fussy, high need – she doesn’t give a damn about the labels. Unless she’s attached to you (constantly), she yells! Meet ‘Velcro baby’.

Vanessa, mother of a now happy, gregarious toddler recalls a time when she and her baby seemed to be permanently physically attached, “I carried Emma in a sling for most of the first nine months: I carried her as I hung out washing, did housework, or went for walks – my friends’ babies were in their strollers, but Emma was always attached to me. Every time I tried to put her down, she would grizzle.”

The confusing thing for parents is that a ‘Velcro baby’ usually stops crying when she is picked up and held. Many worry that they may be creating ‘bad habits’ by ‘giving in.’ Emma says, “for the first month, I was so besotted I loved holding Emma, but then I became worried that I might be spoiling her so I spent the next two months struggling to resist her cries.“

In actual fact, Vanessa was responding appropriately to her baby’s needs argues Katie Cheung, who is studying for her doctorate in Developmental Psychology and also the mother of three month old Ashleigh. She explains, “the first year is all about developing trust and that establishes how babies learn to relate to others later on. Ashleigh doesn’t need to be carried all the time now, but the more I carry her, the less she grizzles. On days when she isn’t carried as much she gets quite grumpy.”

Katie’s observations are borne out by research –in one Canadian study where carrying was increased throughout the day, (in addition to carrying which occurred during feeding and in response to crying), infants cried and fussed 43% less overall, and 51% less during the evening, and studies at Columbia University with mothers and infants considered at risk of failing to form secure attachments, showed that increased carrying led to increased maternal sensitivity, which resulted in less crying and quicker bonding.

Finally, just in case you aren’t convinced that carrying your baby won’t spoil her, consider the results of a study at London University that found ‘high need’ babies became less clingy when their mothers spent more time holding, interacting with and soothing them.

Most babies will go through periods of clingy behaviour – physiologically, newborns depend on close contact to help them adapt. The familiar sound of a mother’s voice has been shown to regulate an infant’s early un-coordinated body movements, as the baby synchronises his movements with the rhythm of the mother’s voice and, as you carry your baby, your heartbeat, rhythmic movements and respiration have a balancing effect on your baby’s irregular rhythms of waking, sleeping and digestion. It is also thought to help him regulate his developing nervous and hormonal systems, and promote day waking and night sleeping.

As babies reach new stages of development, things can seem confusing, so they cling to the only security they know – you! For instance, separation anxiety, another normal stage of development that begins at around eight or nine months, will see them fearful of strangers. Regardless of the reasons for clinginess, your babies needs for cuddles are just as legitimate as his need for food.

So, rather than stressing about whether your previously amenable baby has turned into Velcro baby, enjoy snuggling against that baby-fine skin and nuzzling his downy head. Remember, you are not spoiling your baby – he is learning to love. All too soon, he will feel so secure that he will be running off to explore – and you will almost have to pin him down to get a kiss and a cuddle!

Pinky McKay is the author of Parenting By Heart (Lothian 2001) and ‘100 Ways to Calm the Crying’ (Lothian 2002). These are available by Mail order through Pinky’s website www.pinky-mychild.com